ABOUT
不知道從幾歲開始，喜歡抬頭找月亮。下班經過的路橋中央、吃完飯散步的路上，眼睛總是無意識地在天空找什麼。
日升日落，行星的速度，恆星的排列，在那個當下究竟怎麼牽引著人。第一次聽見月亮和太陽的引力能牽動潮汐，只想著地球離月亮 38 萬公里，離太陽更遠得多，這麼遠的距離，為什麼能影響萬物生長、海洋潮汐。
後來沒長成科學家，也沒成為天文學家。日子照樣過，有順的時候，也有低的時候。低的時候會發現，人一旦感受變遲鈍，明明站在這裡，萬事萬物卻離得好遠。於是開始翻找一些古老、說不清楚的解釋系統：為什麼有人一出生就一路拾起財富與地位，有人一生都在追著留不住的東西跑。
鑽進占星的領域後，常常想：是我自己走到這裡，還是行星把我推向這個軌道。這裡的答案不一定對每個人都成立，但如果它能幫你釐清「這裡不是屬於你的地方」，就已經足夠了。
I can’t say exactly what age it started, but somewhere along the way I picked up the habit of looking for the moon. Crossing the overpass on my way home, out for a walk after dinner, my eyes would drift up to the sky without my even deciding to.
Sunrise, sunset, the speed of the planets, the arrangement of the stars: how do they actually pull on a person, in that moment? The first time I heard that the moon and sun’s gravity moves the tides, all I could think was this: the moon sits some 380,000 kilometers from Earth, the sun much farther still. How does something that far away shape the tides, the growing of everything alive?
I never grew into a scientist, or an astronomer. Life went on the way it does, some stretches easy, some low. In the low ones, I noticed something: once your senses go numb, everything around you feels far away, even while you’re standing right in it. That’s when I started digging through old systems of explanation, the kind nobody can quite put into words: why some people are born and simply keep gathering wealth and standing, while others spend a lifetime chasing what never stays.
Once I was deep into astrology, I kept wondering: did I walk here myself, or did the planets push me onto this path? The answer here won’t hold true for everyone. But if it helps you see clearly that “this isn’t where you belong,” that’s already enough.
